--"Wellll, we had to stop the process because your letter of financial approval is out of date"
[You think? They are only good for thirty days.... It has been over three months now....We got this fixed the same day]
--"Welllll, part of the reason it is taking so long is because one of the people working on your case quit the company"
[Great. My favorite]
--"Wellllll, there are two mortgages, so we need everyone to sign off on it"
[Conference call anyone? Or, idk, email...fax.... scan.... even snail mail would be faster than the morse code encrypted message that I am pretty sure they sent by mule]
--"Welllll, I have an update.....There are no updates on the house"
[Thanks]
This is where we stand on our quest to buy a house. The first mortgage holder has approved our offer, which is great news. Although, I do not have this in writing, but if they did in fact approve it, then that has us on the fast track to FHA for all intents and purposes. That would be wonderful.
I thought since I was updating, I would include a house update. However, this is just a run-of-the-mill, vent post.
It has been a LONG time since I was really, truly, emotionally stable for any length of time. Life with Lemur was hard a lot of the time. Really hard.
This is going to go in two directions. Past and Present.
The past.. Most people who know me know that Lemur and I dated for five years. Anyone who knows me well, knows that it was very hard. I loved Lemur to death.. I still do. However, as a couple, in our separate situations, we pretty much tore one another apart. When we made our final split last February, I did not handle it well. I did not give myself time to breathe and heal. I just dated. A lot. Looking back, that was probably not the best tactic, although I have plenty of funny bad date stories as a result. I harbored a lot of resentment towards Lemur. We both did some pretty terrible things to one another while we were dating-- there is no denying that, but it is hard to let go of something that you worked so long to establish. Lemur and I have been talking since August. At first... it was a lot of emotion and a lot of resentment. (I have said "a lot" way too much in this post... ) Since then, we have talked and apologized and rationalized and settled. We are good friend because of it. And I honestly, still love the man, but it is not romantic. I could call him and be like, I need a plane ticket to Milwaukee, it is a matter of life and death, and I know he would make it happen. In spite of this, our friendship is very very very different from that of Brian and I. And it has made me realize and appreciate what I have now. I am glad to have Lemur back in my life. He tells me about his dates, calls me about how to cook rice and rants about women on welfare. In return, I talk about finances and investments, my life with Brian and marriage and cats. It is a good system.
Sometimes I worry that I talk to him too much. We talk on the phone once a week or so. To me, I KNOW I am not doing anything wrong. However, my friends disagree and that irritates me. Brian is such a trooper. He says and acts like he doesn't mind, and if he does, he does not let me know. I hope he means that. I would not be okay if the situation was reversed.
Hum drum was an appropriate title for this post, I am just feeling out what I am thinking..
Moving on.
The Present. And I hope.. The Future.
Brian and I are the most stable couple... ever. Plenty of people exaggerate about how ideal their relationship is, but I really could not ask for more. Lately, I have not been in good control of my emotion. I have never been less stressed, but I am not dealing with smalll, dumb things well and it is incredibly upsetting. Brian and I work as a couple because we rationalize very similarly and are like-minded in our future paths. We also laugh. And love. And we mean it.
I should probably block him from this post, because I am truly being sincere and not trying to inflate his ego.
I have never had anyone care about me as much as he does. He is not romantic, and he is very quiet, but man does that boy love me. And I love that. When I have had a bad day, the only thing in the world that I want is to be at home with him.We live together and have for 8 months. I never get tired of being around him. I have had numerous people ask me if we are getting married recently. My answer is "I don't see why we wouldn't", however, as nice as that would be, I feel like I have found what people seek in a partner. And I am not afraid of losing Brian, and so the timeline and the ring and the last name are not as important as the time we spend together and the love we make and the laughs we share. I would feel very forlorn if I ever lost this boy.
(He is not going to be pleased with me, but I love these photos)
